


After effects

by astuteBoob



Category: DRAMAtical Murder
Genre: Amputation, Angst, Blindness, Clear's Bad End, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-11-09
Updated: 2016-02-12
Packaged: 2018-02-24 16:26:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,694
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2588294
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astuteBoob/pseuds/astuteBoob
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Koujaku found Aoba after Clear had amputated his legs and stolen his sight. Aoba is now living with Koujaku, under his loving care but things are now forever different between the two.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It was evening time as Koujaku opens the door, heading home from work to a waiting Aoba. Before he even opens the door he sighs and rubs his temples. He knows what's going to come next, it's hard on him. Seeing Aoba acting so cheerful after everything he had been through with Clear. It was a blessing he even found him alive after all that time of no contact. It's a painful reminder, to come home everyday, and instead of Aoba working again or even just doing things by himself he's now almost entirely dependent on Koujaku.  
He opens the door and says like a record _“I'm home Aoba.”_ to Aoba from the entry way, he does it so he won't be worried. Although he knows Aoba has memorized his foot steps by now. He says they're heavy. Full of weight, but they glide like a bird across the hardwood flooring.  
Aoba replies from the bedroom _“Hey we missed you Koujaku!”_ He waits a moment before Koujaku gets into the room before he asks _“So how was work? Anything interesting happen?”_ A smile on his face. Ren sleeping not too far away in a hibernation mode, should Aoba need him he'd be right on call.  
Koujaku smiles sadly and takes Aoba's hand into his, _“So how're you feeling? Any problems today?”_ he asks. Knowing if there was he wouldn't say. Aoba plays at everything being normal and fine. Knowing he's in pain, and he has been since all this has happened to him. Phantom limb pain, infections when the wounds reopen from a bump or being pulled too hard, mostly the psychological effects though. The crying in his sleep, the nightmares, the trying to pull his own skin off with his own teeth not being able to understand due to his new-found blindness. 

_“Oh Koujaku none at all, Ren read some articles to me today. Did you know they're making fish allmates now? We took a nice nap too. Ren opened the window and we listened to the birds. One sounded like a leaf warbler. They're strange around these parts it being the city and all.”_ Aoba turns his head towards Koujaku, listening for his response. Koujaku looks at Aoba gloomily and gently puts Aoba's hand back onto his own chest. Moving towards a small box he kept on the dresser and removing some bottles of medication.  _“Koujaku you know I don't need those. I'm fine without them. See, I've been better. Happier. I haven't been crying as much and the pain is gone mostly.”_ Aoba's smile turns downward moving his head around to get a better listen to Koujaku. 

_“Aoba, I know. But this is what is helping you. Tae said the pains might not ever go away.”_ Koujaku takes what is needed out and quietly puts the rest of the bottles away into the box. He moves and sits next to Aoba on the bed helping him sit upwards.  
_“Koujaku you hippo! Look at me! I'm fine! You know I wouldn't lie to you. Promise.”_ Aoba leans against Koujaku's shoulder, with what would be a puppy-dog look. It it wasn't for the bandage around his face. Covering what was his eyes, but what are now gruesome open wounds in their place.

Koujaku grabs a bottle of water off the side table and opens the cap, placing the bottle in one of Aoba's hands.  _“Aoba please. You'll go back to the pains and nightmares if you don't do this. Come on. It'll take just a minute than we can bathe and cook dinner.”_ Koujaku takes the mess of pills and puts them into Aoba's other hand. Holding it closed with both of his, pleading silently.  
After a moment Aoba sighs and nods, “ _Fine.”_ He takes the pills one after another, slowly to make sure he doesn't drop them. He can't do much by himself now, but he wants to at least be able to do this correctly. He turns his head back to Koujaku who is still sitting beside him.  _“What happened to you? Especially lately you've felt off. No more jokes, no more humming. Koujaku. What's wrong with you?”_ Aoba's hand slowly taps on the bed and makes it's way to Koujaku's hand, who is now on the verge of crying. 

_“It's just hard at work is all. No worries. Now, I'll go get the bath ready and come back and grab you. Okay? Five minutes.”_ He pecks Aoba lightly on the cheek and sets Beni, who had been sitting on his shoulder up until this point onto Aoba's lap. Tapping his head to turn him on.  _“Beni, tell Aoba about the new recipes you found today.”_ He pats Aoba's knee  _“Tell me which one you like best and we'll make that tonight. Again, five minutes and I'll be back for you.”_   
Beni starts to ramble off the first recipe and than once Koujaku sees Aoba listening he turns for the bathroom to start the bath. Unknown to Aoba, the running water covers the sound of Koujaku's prays and crys. 

 


	2. Chapter 2

_Laying in a dark, cold room, it feels metallic. It’s silent except for the hum a nearby machine. I try to lift my arms, my legs, and my head. Nothing can move. Tied down by what feels like tough leather ties and freezing cold metal brackets. I lay here for hours, or maybe minutes. My thoughts are full of what has gone wrong. I miss him, us. Home. The comforting warmth of his bed, the late nights spent talking about work, just watching him in the morning light. Bright and happy, waking up to my own heaven. When did things go so wrong?_

_There is a click, a door opening, than a flash of light. It’s blinding for a moment, a painful brightness that seers your eyes and you want to look away but you have nowhere to look. It envelops everything. The sound of shoes taking slow steps, one by one by one. I open my eyes to see him staring at me. It’s Clear, but it’s not. He looks broken, changed, mutated. It’s not the Clear I knew anymore. He touches my face, I can only try to turn away, I’m tied down and at his mercy._

_“Oh Master. Are you cold? I’m sorry. But we’re going to fix you up. So you can’t run anymore.” He steps back, moving around the room.  
I want to scream, and cry. I can’t, I’m out of strength, energy, and will to move. I can’t recall how long I’ve been kept in the dark. Away from my red sun. _

_Then I hear it, the powered noise of a machine. Revving, swirling. It slowly gets closer. I can feel a knot in my throat. Climbing higher and higher till it’s in my head, it turns into a loud plea yet when it comes out it’s only a small squeak. I see Clear, he’s walking over with a machine, it looks something like a medical saw. Small, with only a circular blade at the top._

_“Now Master, first we’re going to fix these.” Clear places a hand on my legs, slowly rubbing his cold hands up and down. “We can’t have you running around anymore. I’d be sad If you tried to leave me again.” I see him move an even brighter overhead light down towards my legs. “This will hurt, or it should, but it will show you what happens when you disobey me.”_

_He begins, the pain in unreal, first through skin, muscle, than bone, than through the rest. I can feel the blood dripping down. It’s slow, and horrible. I strain against the straps but I’m caught. I clench my hands, trying to bear the pain, tears seeping out of my eyes. I try to scream, to yell, and to swear. But my throat is so dry nothing is produced. He begins on the second leg. Just as painful if not more. I pray for release, to faint or to die. Either is more preferred than this. I hear the saw stop. I feel him wrapping something around what were my knees. He hums, as his he’s washing dishes. I lay listless, void of any life except for breath. He finishes, and walks up to my face. Still humming, he brushes my hair back and pulls the strap tighter._

_“Now Master, one last problem to take care of. I don’t like you seeing any other. I’m going to be the only one in your eyes. Nobody else will matter. Because Master is my Master.” He turns around to reveal a pair of scissors and what looked like terrifying forceps. “So I will be the last thing you see, and you will finally be mine.”  
All I can see is Clear leaning over me, forcing something into my eye cavities and forcing my eyelids open. The bright light is moved, and it’s painful. Bright, white, surgical light directly in my forced open eyes. Than a shadow, for a moment I can make out Clear with the scissors. Than a sharp, deep pressure around my eyeball and complete darkness._

* * *

 

Aoba wakes up, thrashing, screaming in terror from the reoccurring nightmare. Grabbing blindly at the comforters and whoever is nearby, which in this case is a startled Koujaku who was just a moment ago sleeping peacefully. Koujaku immediately jumps awake, automatically realizing what is going on. The nightmares are back once again, terrifying Aoba and reminding him of those horrible days. Koujaku manages to grab onto Aoba, sitting him up in the bed and rubbing his back with a comforting hum. Koujaku says in a slow deep voice, _“Aoba listen, you’re at home. With Ren, Beni, and Me. It’s Koujaku. I promise you’re safe now.”_ As Aoba’s thrashing subsides he easies him into a quiet hug, Aoba brings a hand up to Koujaku’s face. Feeling his features and then his hair, once pleased that it is him he slowly wraps his arms around him. Grabbing onto his clothing as if he is at risk of disappearing.  
_“Are you okay? Do you want to go downstairs for some water?”  
  
_ Aoba nods, he is than lifted up by Koujaku, still being comforted by his warm arms he is than carried downstairs and placed onto the couch in his specific spot. The right of the couch, right next to where the side table now is so if needed he can reach the remotes or phone without much hassle. Koujaku adjusts the pillow behind Aoba, brushing his damp bangs back out of his face and giving him a light kiss on the forehead.  
_“I’ll be right back with your water, turn on the weather channel. It’s about time for us to get up anyways.”  
_ Koujaku pats Aoba’s hand, their wordless signal for when Koujaku is going out of immediate hearing range, and walks over to the kitchen. Ren prances into the living room, finding Aoba with the remote in his hand waiting for the tv to awake. “ _Aoba.”_ Ren says as he hops up onto the couch, and steps into Aoba’s lap. Aoba grows a small smile, bringing a hand down to play with Ren’s fur while the other changes to channel. After a few moments Koujaku walks back in with a glass of chilled water and a cup of hot coffee for himself.  
  
Aoba hears Koujaku’s footsteps and places the remote back onto the side table, holding the now free hand out for the glass. Koujaku hands it off to Aoba, making sure he has a grasp on it before sitting down himself and taking a sip off of his coffee.  
_“I’m sorry for waking you up like that Koujaku, that hasn’t happened in a while.”_ Aoba sighs, drinking about half the glass in one sip.  
_  
“Don’t worry about it Aoba, even if they become less often over time you still may wake to one.”_ Koujaku lets out a strained laugh, _“I’m sorry if that sounds blunt, but I’ll still be next to you whenever you wake from one. So don’t worry too much, if anything we get some extra time to ourselves in the mornings.”_ He places his hand onto Aoba’s, which is buried in Ren’s lush navy fur. _“I told you when we left that place, you won’t ever have to worry again about him or what happened there.”_  
Aoba reaches over to the table and places his drink down, _“I know. It just seems you’ve been stressed with work and I don’t want to add on top of that. You already do so much for me Koujaku. I’m grateful for it, really. But I don’t want you to feel like you have to…”  
  
_ Koujaku sighs, grabbing both of Aoba’s hands into his. _“Aoba listen to me, I love you, and before everything we promised to spend the rest of our days together. No matter what. No matter what happens to me or you. There was no fine print in that. I do everything I do for you because I love you please do understand that.”_ Koujaku brings Aoba’s hands up to his face, kissing them gently.  
_“I just want you to be happy. I want to see you smile and I want to see the day where you can go without remembering those terrifying weeks. I know they may not come soon, or may never come. You’ve been through so much Aoba. I want to see you smile and be happy, and I want to be by your side everyday too.”_  
Aoba can feel the heartfelt emotions in Koujaku’s voice, and he can feel his hands beginning to shake. Koujaku was never the best at maintaining a straight face when it came to displaying his emotions openly to Aoba.

 _“I know, but I never thought that the days where one of us would have to remind the other about medication or assist them bathing would come so soon. I love you too but I thought we had 40 or 50 more years of being young before that happened.”_ Aoba leans into Koujaku, placing his head onto his shoulder lovingly.  
_“I loved you than and I love you now Koujaku. Through thick and thin, I just worry about you and me. We can’t do much of what we used to do.”_ Aoba sighs, remembering their dates out. Small things he missed, trying new coffee shops, new foreign sweets, walking along a quite park at night to point out shadows that formed shapes and pictures, and during the day watching people and making up fantastic stories for their lives.  
_“I will admit, it has been a bit stressful. The adjustment, but that is nothing on you. I will also admit…there have been days where I have cried. Not because of what things are now, but because of what things used to be. I miss our weekends before, we never go out anymore.”_  
_“I know. I just- it’s hard. I don’t want to be seen like this. I used to run around town, working and making deliveries. Now I’m bound to a wheelchair and I can’t dart around like before.”_ Aoba pulls their hands down, rubbing and playing with Koujaku’s fingers.  
_“Well, how about this. I know you’re not fond of the idea. But what about going out to dinner? I’ll make arrangements. Find a nice restaurant that won’t have a lot of other patrons. We can take it slow, one step at a time. I’d just hate for you to be in this house all the time Aoba.”_

Aoba sits in thought for a minute, his fiddling with their hands stopping momentarily before continuing.  
_“As long as you promise it will be a small restaurant. I want a booth, and for Ren and Beni to come along too.”_ Aoba’s expression is clearly nervous, not completely comfortable at the idea. _“I know I have to start somewhere. But, this is first. I know there has to be one guy from Benishigure that works in or owns a restaurant. Your guys looks scary, but they are pretty nice.”  
_ Koujaku nods knowingly with a smile,   
_“I’ll talk to Hagima then. I’m sure he can help arrange something for us.”_


End file.
